meta-dad

20 healthy ways Dad can praise his child

As parents we love to praise our kids. A good grade they got on a paper, a touch-down they got or cleaning up their room without being told – these are all fair examples. We feel this is the proper positive reinforcement they need to grow into healthy, well-balanced adults, right? Based on the results of over thirty years of scientific study is revealing a different theory based on a “growth mind-set” that debunks this time-worn approach. This mind-set puts a particular focus on their ‘effort‘ and ‘persistence’ rather than their ‘talent‘ or ‘ability‘ and ultimately trains your kids to think of themselves as ever-evolving learning machines.

The popular model of praising a kids intelligence or talent galvanizes the idea that their gift is static or fixed. This sets them up for failure when they are faced with tough challenges because they have the expectation that that any challenge should be easy and achievable. Simply put – the growth mind-set upgrades the saying, “learn from your mistakes,” and presents mistakes as problems yet to be solved. It motivates your kid to actually adopt a mastery mind-set and look forward to challenges rather than be intimidated by them. What is most interesting about these studies is they imply that this growth mind-set not only applies to academic arenas but all aspects of ones life – from ones athletic or physical abilities to one’s inter-personal or social approaches.

So next time your kid throws you that, “look Dad, I did it!” look, think twice before throwing them that verbal dog biscuit and praise the effort or action rather than the results. He’s some variety to consider;

• You should be proud of yourself!
• You did a lot of work today!
• You’re getting better every day!
• Keep up the good work!
• I am very proud of you!
• You really outdid yourself!
• Great effort today!
• You make my job so much easier, thank you!
• You’re really on top of things!
• That’s sensational!
• Good thinking!
• Great effort!
• That’s what I call a fine job!
• You’ve really improved!
• Now you’ve figured it out!
• You worked really hard on that, great job!
• You’ve got your brain in it today!
• Way to go!
• You’re really concentrating!
• How did you think of that!

Sited Articles:
Scientific American | The Secret to Raising Smart Kids
Wikipedia | Benjamin Franklin

Motivating kids to be achievers
Breaking the Cycle: Fostering a Loving Relationship Between Siblings

Related Articles:
Stanford Magazine | The Effort Effect

Books:
Siblings Without Rivalry
How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
Parenting From the Inside Out